Celebrating NINETEEN

My Facebook status on our anniversary read:
Celebrating NINETEEN (!!!) years of marriage to Mark.  He loves me so well, and I am so thankful to God for him. He's the finest man I know and the most patient guy in the universe. He has integrity; he is faithful and thoughtful and he is a servant-leader. AND he's romantic, silly, kind-hearted, forgiving, and my best friend in the world. Loving you, Mark.  So thankful to be your wife!

There is so much more than can be posted in a status update or even a blog post.  I feel like I can never accurately express how thankful I am for Mark, or how happily married I am, but I just am.  I even hesitate slightly to say that- about being happily married-- because I know there are so many who are struggling in marriage.  And I don't want it to sound like we have no issues, either.  Because we do.  We're both sinful people and we know it.  He sees my failings very up close and I see his.  And yet we continue to pursue each other with intention and love because we covenanted before God to do so.  And because He strengthens us to do so.

Throughout these past nineteen years, we have walked through some valleys together-- we have felt the deep heartache of infertility, we struggled for years in an area of our intimacy, we have adopted children from hard places that come with their own (invisible-to-most) special needs, we have lost friends and family members and we have grieved the loss of two of our own babies.  These have been very dark seasons.  And yet: by the grace of God we have turned toward Him and toward one another.  He has held us; He has kept us.  I am so thankful.

And so much more than the difficulties, there has been joy, and blessings too numerous to count.  My heart is full.  I am daily grateful for the opportunity to continue to love this man of mine well.

We generally go away every year for a couple of nights-- to the ocean, to celebrate.  But this year we couldn't figure out childcare, so we packed all the kids along with us and had a family vacation instead.  (Hence, Audra in the photo below.)