When All the Little Things Become Ginormous Things



Hello, sweet friends~

I am thankful to be here in this space to share a bit tonight.  As I type, I'm sitting cross-legged on our bed, wearing leggings, a tank top and a cardigan, and listening to the sounds of Mark scrubbing away at the mildew that has appeared in our bedroom closet.

Mildew is just one of the delightful attributes of an old home.  I am generally quite fond of our house and all its character, but these past months have definitely sapped my affection for it, what with flooding in our basement, plumbing problems, more flooding in our basement, a broken dishwasher (that KEEPS breaking), a broken washing machine, and now this mildew.  SighThank you, God, for our home: for shelter, for warmth, for rooms and beds and running water and all the life and love that resides within these walls. 


Last week was a difficult one.  I PMS'd hard.  Worse than ever.  It was fairly awful.  And I was a total wreck.  I spent a good deal of time sobbing.  And when I wasn't crying, I was angry and irritable and more yelly than usual.  I just didn't really LIKE anyone last week.  All the little things that I can usually just shrug off or don't actually even notice became Ginormous Things That Must Be Addressed This Very Second, and every single thing seemed so overwhelming and burdensome.  What I need during these times (space, quiet, rest, time with Jesus, time with Mark) were hard to come by and that made it so much more difficult.

My poor family.  Really.  I was such a mess.  Mark is the most supportive, loving, tender, gentle, patient husband.  He just waits out the storm, patiently listening to me vent and sob and tell him all the things wrong in our marriage, house, family, children, parenting, schedule, schooling, etc.  You name it, I covered it.  Completely.  And with MUCH drama.



One morning I was feeling overwhelmed because I'd been dealing with a discipline issue with one of the kids throughout much of our morning.  I was emotional and exhausted and it was only breakfast time.  Four of my kids were waiting at the table to eat and for me to start our morning time.  I walked out to the kitchen with a heavy heart, feeling so fragile and on the verge of tears.  I looked at our Morning Time list and it truly felt impossible to speak, let alone cheerily start our day with singing and poems and whatever else was on our list.  I just couldn't.

So I began by praying over our day, and of course that made the tears spill over and it was a good thing-- just thanking God for His mercy and asking Him to help me BE merciful with this particular child; and praying for wisdom and guidance for our day.  When we finished praying I still couldn't fathom going through our regular Morning Time routine, so I asked the kids if they would like to share with me what they'd been reading in their Bibles lately; what God had been speaking to their hearts or what they had been learning or what had stood out to them during their readings.  (I was happy just to get them talking so I could collect myself and not have to facilitate.)  For the next several minutes God ministered to my heart so sweetly through the words of my kids.  Each of them shared about what they'd been reading, and I later realized that that was exactly what my heart needed.  And how dear is it that encouragement came through the mouths of my kids?  I'm just so thankful for this season of life with them, for their sure faith and the growth I get to see in them.

Other highlights of the week: Getting outside with the kids-- on our nature study walk, and reveling in the beauty of fall around us.  And another day when I was able to get out by myself on a trail and ended up crying out to Jesus pretty much the whole walk.  And a hot bath one night where I read a few Psalms and let the truth of God's word wash over me.


I am so thankful to put last week behind us.  Mark has wisely decided that THIS week we will take the week off school, and I am so looking forward to it, and also needing that.  We're going to rest, sit in front of the fire and do lots of reading aloud, hit the library and bring home new books to cozy up around, meet up with friends to play, celebrate a birthday here (Isaac! 13!) and love well after a week of struggle.

Blessings to you, sweet friends.  Now please hit me with all your best how-to-handle-PMS tips.  If that becomes the new normal, we may have to take one week off every MONTH just to survive. Or maybe I just need to move out for a few days each month?  ;)

10 comments:

  1. Oh boy am I looking forward to those PMS survival tips! What you described (everything being wrong and needing to be addressed RIGHT NOW, the feelings of complete overwhelmed-ness, the emotions) --so familiar. I'm so sorry you had such a rough week. I'm thankful that your wise and kind husband has decided on a break for you all. I pray it will be sweet and refreshing for you all.

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    1. Yes! I'm truly hoping for some tips, too! Thank you for your sweet comment, Candice. (And--- glad I'm not the only one who gets this way!)

      ~Stacy

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  2. ((hugs)) I know we chatted by email, but wanted to let you know that I'm still thinking of you.

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  3. bless you for your candor about both failure and grace.

    I always feel better when I am taking the right vitamins, and I suspect the B complex is the real key. I took a couple of months off of them recently out of guilt over the expense (I'm using Shaklee)... and my PMS was off the charts. Just like you described - yelly, overwhelmed, thought my mind would explode with frustration about a child's behavior. My husband was very supportive of restarting the vitamins!!

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    1. Ells,
      Thank you for your B complex tip! I actually said to Mark, "Surely there is some vitamin I could be taking???" I've only ever taken Vitamin C and D. Thank you. I will definitely look into it.
      ~Stacy

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  4. I've also been struggling with this lately! I agree with the above comment about vitamins. I've found the Plexus vitamins to be very helpful (expensive, but worth it!) I also find it helpful to lower my expectations just a bit when I'm feeling off-- trying to realize that it's okay if we start school an hour later than normal, or if we totally skip some subjects that day, or if I spend the evening watching a netflix show after the kids go to bed instead of doing something more productive. Sometimes, you just have to give yourself some grace!

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    1. Thank you, Jaime! You are so right about lowering expectations, too. I think I need to be more proactive in the future, anticipating the week and just dropping stuff off our schedule or easing up a good bit. I love your idea of starting late those mornings. And about the Netflix show. I actually *already* tend to watch a show some evenings just to sort of unwind from the day, and that does help. Thank you again for your encouragement. And blessings to you and yours!
      ~Stacy

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  5. Hi Stacy ♥ Sending you a hug first of all. This post was such a blessing and an encouragement. Isn't it cool how the Father can use our yucky times to do that for someone else? Amazes me every time! We do a different day when I am just plain old off my game in a major way. The sweetlings love it, and God provides ideas as well as blessings. Please give Isaac our love (can he really be turning 13?!?) and love to all of the rest of you, too. Hugs!

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  6. No advice, just hugs and prayers from one mama to another. Love you!

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