On anger and expectations in mothering

I can almost be assured that if I become angry with a child, it is because my expectations match my goals for him. It is essential that we have high, godly goals for our children. We want to lead them to the best of their ability spiritually and educationally. However, in this process of moving toward the goals, we must keep our expectations lower than those goals. When I expect my child to have reached a high goal, then I am likely to become angry with him if he hasn't. On the other hand, if I expect my child to have not yet reached the goal, then my spirit is at peace with the training and teaching process as we strive to reach those goals.

It is so much a matter of perspective. The Lord has given us a definite role in our children's lives. If they are spiritually and educationally mature as children, then why are we to train them up? Why are we told to discipline them? It is because children will spend their childhoods working toward the "high goals" the Lord has set for them. They will make progress toward those goals, but it may not be as quick or discernable as we would like it to be. Aren't we glad the Lord doesn't get angry with us every time we fall short of His goals for us?

~Teri Maxwell, Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit

I'm mulling over those words of wisdom today. I want so much to be an encourager of my children as they strive for those goals.

May God bless you today as you do the same!


  1. I love that book! I think I need to revisit it. Thanks for the reminder, Stacy.

  2. Good words... thanks so much for sharing!

  3. I have had a rough couple days with my kids....I needed this. Thank you. :)

  4. I am a lurker, but appreciated these wise words tonight. To encourage, not squelch as my children strive toward the goal of maturity. Excellent, thank you! : )

  5. Great quote Stacy.

    I recently read a book called Practicing Affirmation by Sam Crabtree that has really helped me personally understand how to encourage my kiddos, especially the one who struggles the most.
    He talks about affirming in increments. I tend to wait for the end product which I am learning is not the best. Each step of growth deserves, however small, to be noticed because God is at work in their lives. Growth is an evidence of God's grace in thier lives.

    Anyway, so many more thoughts. I should blog about it :o)

    hugs to you. Hope your summer days are fun and laid back. So happy to be reading more for fun and jumping on our new trampoline and just chillin'

  6. You are welcome, friends. I needed to hear it, too. :)

    Thank you for de-lurking to leave a comment! Nice to meet you. :)

    I owe you a letter. Surely one of these days I will have time to write you back? Yes. That will happen. :)

    Of course my library doesn't have that book you recommended. I checked. I'll track it down, though.

    Blessings to you and yours, friend!


Thank you for commenting! I love hearing from you, and I will do
my best to reply back to you in the comment section.