On Saturday Adelia was her wondrous, lively, *challenging* self. That girl. She is... three and so stubborn and willfull and passionate and defiant and just so very loud about it all. :) I love her so much and I know God has great plans for her life and all of that passion and I'm trusting Him to shape her and mold her for His purposes. But some days are just plain exhausting, aren't they? Being a mama? My goodness!
|my beautiful girl in a (rare) moment of stillness: at the zoo, holding a small bird|
Anyway... so on Saturday she was in full defiant mode and by lunchtime we'd had two major sessions of disobedience (and a few minor ones, too) and I went from fighting back tears to a full-fledged sob session over all of it. What it all kept coming back to in my fit of tears was: HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS?! ("this" meaning: start school on Monday). How does this kind of a morning fit into a school day? How can I be a diligent mama in training my little girl and be an attentive mama with my school-aged kids? Sigh.
Thankfully, once the girls were down I crept into my room for some daily peace and quiet, and resumed my Bible reading. I was in Psalm 99 and began journaling as I read:
The Lord reigns. Great is the Lord. Exalt him and worship him. He is holy. I was instantly reminded to take my eyes off myself and refocus them on God. So I did. I kept writing and just focused on His greatness.
Then I kept reading: "Moses and Aaron were among his priests, Samuel was among those who called on his name; they called on the Lord and he answered them. He spoke to them..."
And God reminded me that He hears when I call upon His Name. He hears and He answers. So I called Him right on up ;) -- scribbling out prayers in my journal about all that I felt overwhelmed about. And He reminded me then of two verses-- one in Matthew where it says "do not worry about tomorrow" and another, in Philippians, I think, that says "do not be anxious about anything but in everything, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (or something. I'm paraphrasing, I'm sure.) So I asked Him to help me not to worry and to just do the *next thing*; that thing right in front of me right now, and to do it well and to trust Him for the rest of it; the stuff that comes next. I trust that He will not give me more than I can bear and that He is with me, leading me and guiding me. I asked for wisdom and strength. I specifically prayed for my girl; that God would teach her self-control and that He would help ME correct with wisdom and gentleness and in kindness.
I am so thankful for God's word and how instructive it is. I was reminded that day- in just a few short verses- of the truth. I needed to take my eyes off of myself and the circumstances of how impossible things seemed today. I needed to refocus my heart and mind toward thankfulness and praise (the Psalms are so great for this!) and I needed to be reminded not to be anxious, but to call on God and trust in Him to answer. It just righted my whole attitude, that time with Jesus. I know it will be challenging, this day. But I know He is good and He is with me and I trust Him with all of it.
Amen. Here's to a great first day!Know that the Lord is God.It is he who made us, and we are his;we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgivingand his courts with praise;give thanks to him and praise his name.For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;his faithfulness continues through all generations.
I'll post tomorrow on the flow of our day, (and, ahem- quite possibly how well that didn't work for us!) and will follow in the days to come with our chore chart and all the things Michelle requested. ;)