More on the shield of faith

As I wrote yesterday, what I appreciate so much about Beth Moore is that she doesn't stop with the information. She gets practical. I am such a visual person that I don't just want to hear what someone thinks, I want to know what it looks like; what they're doing about it. Here is the practical, 5-statement shield of faith Beth Moore shared:

God is who He says He is.

God can do what He says He can do.

I am who God says I am.

I can do all things through Christ.

God's word is alive and active in me.

Her encouragement for the reader was to commit to a certain length of time to practice raising your shield of faith. To get into the habit of "putting it on." I decided to do five weeks. I wrote out these five statements and posted them in the shower and have said them every morning. I'm into my third week.

And do you know what? The first two: God is who He says He is and God can do what He says He can do-- those, I've got down. Absolutely I believe those. Without a doubt.

But as I have repeated these statements over and over again, I get a little stuck on that third one.

"I am who God says I am." I say it and then I consider who God says I am and I immediately question, "I am?"

My shield has a little crack.

I've mentioned before that when God is speaking to me about something, He doesn't just say it once. He says it over and over and over again to get through to me. He is so faithful to lead me to a verse, and then aha! coincidentally, that very same verse is expounded upon in a book I'm reading, and then again, He will solidify that truth one more time (or two) in another form (radio, a message, a friend, a blog, a song).

As I was reading Believing God I was also reading another book. A fiction book by Lisa Samson called Quaker Summer. In the book, the main character's name is Heather. Heather's husband's name is Jace. Here's the part I'd like to share with you:

Jace: I really love you, hon. You know that, right?

[Heather] I just burrow my face into his shoulder. I can't look at him when he starts making loving proclamations. If his professions are an accurate indication of his emotions, Jace adores me. So if he backs them up with candles and flowers and that sweet smile, why can't I believe him? With these sponge cake hips? This raggedy C-section scar? Come on, man! Where are your standards?

When I read that, a lump formed at the back of my throat. Not only because I so know the feeling. (Can you not even see these stretch marks, honey? And these extra 10 lbs I've been holding onto since the birth of our last child? Who was born more than three years ago? And, and, and...)

But that lump in my throat? It was there because I am like this with God, too. He professes to love me; to adore me. So why can't I believe Him?

When I shared with Mark that I believed the first two statements with certainty but I was wavering on the third, he pointed out, "If the first two are no-brainers, Stacy, you have to embrace the third one. If God is who He says He is, you are who He says you are. Period." I KNOW that. My mind knows it. But as usual, it takes some time for my heart to catch up with what my mind knows.

Basically, dear readers: I am just a pile of insecurities. During the past few weeks God has brought me again and again to His Word. Just who does God say that I am? I've begun a list in the back of my journal:

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
I am dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. (Romans 6:11)
I am adopted. (Ephesians 1:5)
I am a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I am accepted. (Romans 15:7)
I am beautiful. (Song of Songs 4: 1, 7)
I am forgiven. Loved. Chosen. Redeemed. The list goes on and on.

I am?

Can I really accept that? Another source, another book I'm reading: The Ragamuffin Gospel. In it, Manning quotes another author, Paul Tillich, who writes: "Simply accept the fact that you are accepted."

That is precisely my problem. I have trouble accepting the fact that I am accepted.

But the things I have no trouble accepting; the things I am sure of; where there is no chink in my shield of faith, are those first two statements:

God is who He says He is.
God can do what He says He can do.

And if God is who He says He is, He is LOVE, He is accepting of me, He has chosen me, and so much more.

I am so thankful for His Word. I so desperately need it to stand upon. Because I trust it. So if He says it, I believe it.