One Foster Mom's Story, Part 1

"One little girl we cared for had been born prematurely and her mother had left her at the hospital. The mother hadn't told any family members she was pregnant. She flew out to Seattle to visit a family member, went into labor, and left a few days later. Her beautiful daughter was left alone in the hospital in the NICU with no one to visit her. We got her when she was released from the hospital. She was a precious little girl who unfortunately was born to a very young woman who wasn't ready to be a mama to her."

* * *
"A two-year-old boy came into our care because his mom needed to leave for her night shift at work. She was trying to make money for her and her son. A friend of hers was supposed to come over to watch her son while he slept. The friend never showed up and she didn't want to lose her job, so she left her little boy sleeping alone in the apartment. He woke up, went to a neighbor, and the police intervened from there. "

Those are just two stories of many a foster mom could share with you. One reason I think it is so important for us-- as a church at large-- to get involved in foster care is this: Many of us~ in our safe, happy, suburban lives~ would never "rub shoulders" with people in these types of situations. We may hear about such a story on the news but not be personally invested in it. Yet there are so many children in our own communities who are living in this kind of reality; who are being parented by someone who has never been parented themselves, and who have little chance of growing up and avoiding the same cycle.

The state wants these children safe. Those of us who know and love Jesus have the ability to offer foster children more than just a safe, secure environment. We can offer them our love, our prayers and true, lasting security in Jesus Christ.

I'm so excited to get to introduce you today to someone who is welcoming foster children into her home (and the one who shared those two stories at the beginning of this post.) So without further ado, allow me to introduce you to... sister! I am so proud of her and the ministry their family has in caring for foster children, and am so thankful she agreed to answer some questions regarding her experiences. I'll let her introduce herself, and then we'll get on with the Q & A.

My name is Stefany. I’m married to my best friend, Dan and together we have three amazing children: Megan (10), Madison (9) and Cole (6) and a cat named Starbucks! We’ve been foster parents for over 2 years and plan to renew our foster care license next summer for another 3 years!

Welcome to the blog, Stef. :) Thank you for being willing to do this! Let's get started with some questions...

What made you decide to do foster care?

Well, I had always wanted to adopt, but after having 3 kids of our own, my husband and I decided foster care fit our family better. We wanted to still be able to focus on our own kids but also care for those in our state that needed some temporary help. Also, as Christians, we’ve both been drawn to God’s commands to take care of the needy; children seem to be where God has called us to at this point in our lives.

Can you give us the stats about the children you've had in your care? (How many kids have you fostered, length of care, their ages and situations?)

We got our foster care license in July 2008. We have had 8 kids since that time.
  • K & I, a sibling set, girl(3) and boy(2). They had been physically abused, and spent 4 nights with us.
  • C, a 3-year-old girl whose mom went to jail. She was with us for 2 nights.
  • T, an 11-month-old boy whose mom went to jail. He was with us for 1 ½ years.
  • M, a preemie girl we got straight from hospital, where her mom had left her. She was with us for 2 months.
  • A, a 2-year-old boy who had been physically abused. He spent 3 months with us.
  • A, a 2-day-old girl. Her mom couldn’t take care of her. She was with us for 1 ½ weeks.
  • E, a 2-year-old boy who was left alone at home. He spent 4 nights with us.
  • A, 1-year-old girl who was taken due to neglect. She is currently still with us

What were your fears (if any) going into it?
I didn't have any fears. The state is so helpful in letting foster parents choose an age range, and what level of medical care you want to provide. 

What has been the hardest part?
The hardest part has definitely been saying goodbye. I usually just let myself enjoy the time with each child and live in denial until the day they leave. Then I usually bawl my eyes out, take a deep breath and wait for the phone to ring again! Our hardest one obviously was the child that stayed with us for over a year. He felt like one of our own by the time he left. Most of the time, we’ve known where each child is ending up and each has been put into a great situation, either with a parent or relative or adopted!

Join us for more questions and stories in Part 2, coming up tomorrow!


  1. Oh, I love this post. You're so right about the rubbing shoulders thing, and I love what you said about not only offering them a safe place... but Jesus... who will be their lasting security.

    Stefany, many thanks to you for guest blogging, and for your heart for these kids. I can't wait to hear more of your story!

  2. Stef - Thanks for contributing to Stacy's blog. But thanks even more for the great work you and Dan are doing with the many kids you care for. I too am looking forward to Stacy posting the rest of your story, because I haven't gotten a sneak preview.

  3. Jodi~
    Thank you, friend. Praying for you and Jace! :)

    Love you, honey. You're the best guy a girl could ever hope for!



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