Breaking a habit

*2006 post*

My daughter is sharp. I mean, this girl forgets nothing. Is this a common trait for four-year olds? I am continually amazed at her ability to remember details I’ve forgotten. Or simply her ability to latch onto something I once said and remind me of it.

Once upon a time we told her that bicyclists should wear helmets; that it is not safe to ride without one. As true as that piece of information is, I rue the day I ever told her that. Because every- and I do mean every- single time we see a biker, she comments on their head apparel. This is what I hear, constantly, from the back seat:

“That guy is wearing a helmet. He’s safe.”

or

“That girl is NOT wearing a helmet. She’s NOT safe.”

or

“That guy is wearing a hat. But that’s NOT safe like a helmet.”

To my great regret, her little brother has now picked up the refrain, so now we hear it from both of them. Which is all fine and good if we’re in our van. (Well, okay, not all fine and good. It can be a little tiresome. There are a LOT of bicyclists where we live.) But as you well know, four year olds have no qualms about saying anything to anyone wherever they may be. So when we’re outside, and a bicyclist passes us, my daughter will holler “He’s NOT wearing a helmet. He’s NOT safe” For all the world (and most especially, that particular bicyclist) to hear.

Another time, she heard her cousins using the expression, “Oh my gosh!” She picked it up quickly. That expression doesn’t sound pretty coming from a four-year old’s mouth, so we told her not to say it anymore. She used it only a couple more times, which resulted in very stern reprimands from her daddy and I. But I discovered quickly that her cousins were not the only ones with that habit.

One day I was on the phone, happily chatting away, and I heard my daughter gasp and saw her eyes widen. She clapped her hand over her mouth and stared at me with great alarm. I couldn’t figure out what the problem was. Everything seemed fine to me. I interrupted my conversation to see what the trouble was. “Mommy, you just said a naughty thing!” I did??? “You said that thing we’re not supposed to say. Remember?” It took me a couple of minutes to realize just what it was. And then, OH. I say “oh my gosh”, too.

Well, not anymore, folks. She’s made sure of that. And if I falter, she immediately reminds me.

So I’ve smartened up considerably since realizing this about her. I decided to use her abilities in this area to my benefit.

Recently I was spending too much time on the computer. You know, “checking in really quick” throughout the day, to check email or blogs. In an effort to halt this, I told myself that I could be on the computer for only 20-30 minutes in the morning, and then TURN IT OFF until naptime, when I would then have more time after my quiet time while everyone is napping/resting. And then I would not be on it again for the remainder of the day. At least until daddy’s home. So I informed her of my plan: “Mommy has been spending too much time on the computer. I’m only going to do it for a little bit when I get out of the shower, and then NO MORE except during naptime, okay?”

Now when I even step anywhere near the computer during the day (to retrieve something from my desk, to pick up a toy next to it, to open the shades above the desk, etc) I get this shout-out: “Mommy! Remember? No computer until naptime!!!” She keeps me honest, that girl.

Well. There’s another habit of mine I would like to break. I have hesitated to tell her just yet because it’s something I say a lot, and I know I won’t hear the end of it when she finds out.

I say “you guys” a lot. I think it’s synonomous for “ya’ll” in the south. “It’s good to see you guys!” “Come on, you guys. It’s time to go!” See? Lots of occasions to say it. This habit didn’t bother me until recently.

Last week my son (two), was praying at dinnertime. He usually thanks God for each member of our family. On this particular night, rather than name each of us, he figured it was simpler to pray, Thank you, God, for this guy (he points to me), this guy (pointing to his little brother), this guy (pointing to daddy), and this guy (pointing to his big sister). Hmm. This gave us pause. I explained to him afterwards that his mommy and sister were not “guys” but then quickly pointed out to Mark that he’s likely saying that because I always refer to our children (as a unit) as “guys”.

I’m now rather concerned that my children might walk up to an elderly couple at church and say, “How are you guys?” I’d be mortified.

So I’d better tell her I mean to stop saying it. Soon. In a matter of weeks I should be free of the habit.