The End

*2006 post*

I was flipping through my journal the other day and realized it has been nearly a year since I gave up watching TV. I say 'give up' because I was pretty sure God wanted me to stop watching TV, but I fought it. I sort of liked my shows. I spent some time trying to negotiate. You know- How about if I give up the shows I don't really care about as much? The ones I won't miss as much? Or I'll record them so I'm not a slave to the TV schedule. But I'll only record SOME. Or, Maybe just for a season. I wanted to hold onto it.

And yet, stronger than my desire to watch my shows was my desire to obey my God. Finally I relented and said, "Okay. If this is You, calling me to obedience in this, that's enough for me." And that was it. I haven't watched TV since. I mean, a few minutes here and there. And a Pittsburgh Steelers game with my husband from time to time. But, no more shows. And oh, has it been good. The absence of TV ushered in a hunger in me for more of Him. And that pursuit has been so much richer than any show ever. Obviously.

The TV screen no longer has a place in my life, but now there's another screen that beckons me. You know. The computer screen. Ours sits here in our living room (where we happen to do most of our living). And I like to pop in throughout the day. I really do like this blogging thing. I like writing. I like the comments. I like to read other blogs. I like to glean ideas and tips and recipes and resources from so many of you. I like the comraderie. The like-mindedness of so many of you in the blogosphere. All of these virtual friends I've made. :)

And yet. The question on my heart again and again has been this:

Is blogging a pursuit that God is pleased with in my life? I'm not sure what the answer is to that. And in all honesty, I think I've been afraid that if I really asked, I would find that yes, indeed, God would have me cease doing this (He's a jealous God, after all) and I don't want to give it up. And so I've kept blogging. And lately I find myself going into negotiating-mode once again. I'll just be more disciplined. I won't post every day. This is a good thing, right?

I have learned much here. Have I given much? I don't know. Is this activity in my life glorifying God? I don't know. I would hope and pray so. But I simply don't know.

And. The question remains. Is this pleasing to God? It gives me pause. Last night and today, I feel this nudging to lay it down, to set it aside. I'm not entirely sure that God is saying, "No, Stacy. No more blogging." I'm not nearly as convinced as I was about the TV-thing. That was kind of a no-brainer, but this? This is a good thing. But a good thing can also be a distraction from Him.

Paul and Timothy wrote to the church in Colosse:

"We pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God."

That is my heart. To live a life worthy of the Lord. To please Him in every way. To bear fruit in every good work. To grow in the knowledge of Him. Oh, that is my fervant prayer. I want nothing to distract me from that pursuit.

That, more than this.

And so this will be my final post. Because if God is calling me away from this and closer to Him, I want to obey.

But I do plan to see what you're blogging about, Kendra. (And if I'm ever in California, I just may knock at your door. I mean, if I can find you. For a game of Settlers, you know. :)) And so many others... I will come and read and comment. Rebeca. Ann. Dana. Michelle. Linda. Joni. Jen. Stacy. Sandi. Ali. (Er, so I'm really not leaving, after all! Nah... I am. But I will check in- maybe just on a weekly basis, though.) You, and so many others, who have come here to read and to comment. And you have written things that have encouraged me in my pursuit as a wife, mother and homemaker. I thank you.

I plan to keep pursuing and loving Jesus. And my husband. And the little flock He has entrusted to me. Those things I KNOW are pleasing to Him.

ps- Can I just say that I feel a little choked up over this? (And a bit teary, even.)