Thursday, February 15, 2007

My choice today

Yesterday as my husband came home from work, I met him-- not at the door, but outside-- with tears and this: "I'm running away from home!"

Needless to say, we've had a difficult week. Both Monday and Tuesday night this week Mark and I had to leave the kids and drive two hours away to attend some adoption classes, sit through the hour and a half class to drive another two hours home. We knew this would be a difficult month. We have a number of these classes to attend, and I figured it would take a toll on all of us. It has. I am tired, impatient, irritable, crabby, and emotional. The kids, out of their routine-- are tired, whiny, argumentative, prone to fits and tantrums, and emotional. Like I said, I'm ready to run away from home.

It is times like this that I become very grumbly and my thoughts very me-centered: "I need a break." "What about me?" "I need some sleep." "I don't want to do this right now." "I'm so tired of this." Things like that. Oh, and thoughts like: "These kids are driving me absolutely crazy!"

And all day yesterday God was urging me to choose joy. You know what? I didn't. I knew that's what I needed to do, but I am stubborn and would much rather wallow in self-pity.

Today I'm going to obey, though. I am headed now to turn on some worship songs and sing. And put a smile on my face. And regardless of whether I get a nap or a break or rest, and even IF my children continue their behavior, I am choosing joy today.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Feb. 15, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
I hear you on this! I too have been feeling exactly the same... but for a different reason. I hope all goes well in your adoption process and it does not take long for you go hold you new child!

Oh yeah, what songs did you get on your cd? What a thoughtful gift! Songs from his heart to yours.

Letisha

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Feb. 15, 2007 - I can relate
Posted by Stacey
I can so relate to the post today...my evening was met with as much emotional baggage as yours seemed to be.

Bless you for encouraging me today to choose joy.

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Feb. 15, 2007 - Blessings to you, Stacy!
Posted by momco3
Thanks for being so transparent about the challengings of parenting wee ones, especially when tired! I will pray for the joy to come easily when you choose it. I know God will meet you faithfully there.
Annie

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Feb. 15, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Oh, Stacy - I feel it, too! I have been trying to make a concentrated effort today, as well! "Make a choice, Elise!" is what I keep repeating to myself over and over and over...
Thank you for sharing - I will lift you up in prayer as well.
Blessings,
Elise

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Feb. 15, 2007 - Choosing Joy
Posted by Anonymous
God has recently really placed this on my heart as well- to choose to be joyful at home and content with my circumstances. I continue to pray for you!
Rebecca M

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Feb. 15, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Rebeca
I often remind my children to choose a joyful heart, but I need to hear it often as well.

Thanks,

Rebeca

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Feb. 15, 2007 - Hi Stacy!
Posted by AussieinAmerica
I came over to "visit" and see how you are doing. I hope you were able to have a good day today. I know how tough it can be when you are all tired and worn out.
It is a strange coincidence that right before I came over here I wrote a blog entry about being happy and how happiness is a choice. Not something I am great at....but I want to be......
Saying a prayer for you.
Stacy

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Feb. 16, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
I could have written this. I have been right there w/you. My kids have been sick off and on for 2 weeks. I haven't slept and I'm crabby. We all have been. Today is a new day and I'm going to choose joy. It really is a choice and I know God can help me through it all.
Thanks for posting this. It is good to know we are not alone sometimes. :)

Wendy swbbm.blogspot

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Feb. 16, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by MicheleinNZ
Thanks, Stacy. Just yesterday I was sitting on the couch, in a really foul mood, thinking - man, my kids don't deserve this. I must *choose* joy, it doesn't just appear, does it?

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Feb. 16, 2007 - Smiling
Posted by Sarah
I love your blog! It’s so real. I’ve had quite a few of these tired-impatient-irritable-crabby-emotional days lately and I know my attitude needs an adjustment. But whining is so much easier!! When I’m having a dreadfully tough day my 5 year-old will look at me and say, “Mommy, do you think you can smile at me now?” Just a little reminder from my heavenly Father (via my little son) to count it all joy!!

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Feb. 20, 2007 - much needed
Posted by homeskoolmom
This comment may be beyond it's time, but I'm so glad you shared your burden. We have had some difficult days recently. I have been working on having a joyful home for sometime now, but sometimes the enemy just gets his way. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one that struggles with grumpiness, in myself or my children.
God bless,
Christine

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