Yesterday as my husband came home from work, I met him-- not at the door, but outside-- with tears and this: "I'm running away from home!"
Needless to say, we've had a difficult week. Both Monday and Tuesday night this week Mark and I had to leave the kids and drive two hours away to attend some adoption classes, sit through the hour and a half class to drive another two hours home. We knew this would be a difficult month. We have a number of these classes to attend, and I figured it would take a toll on all of us. It has. I am tired, impatient, irritable, crabby, and emotional. The kids, out of their routine-- are tired, whiny, argumentative, prone to fits and tantrums, and emotional. Like I said, I'm ready to run away from home.
It is times like this that I become very grumbly and my thoughts very me-centered: "I need a break." "What about me?" "I need some sleep." "I don't want to do this right now." "I'm so tired of this." Things like that. Oh, and thoughts like: "These kids are driving me absolutely crazy!"
And all day yesterday God was urging me to choose joy. You know what? I didn't. I knew that's what I needed to do, but I am stubborn and would much rather wallow in self-pity.
Today I'm going to obey, though. I am headed now to turn on some worship songs and sing. And put a smile on my face. And regardless of whether I get a nap or a break or rest, and even IF my children continue their behavior, I am choosing joy today.