My boy and his chores

In our home our kids do their chores after each meal. Our after-breakfast chores are the ones I am always in the most hurry about, because we have school to get to and I want things to move along. So our system is that I set the timer and give the kids 20 minutes to accomplish their responsibilities. If they finish in time, they each earn a treat (usually a piece of gum or a few jelly bellies or something) for their quiet times, later in the day.

Isaac's chore for the year has been this:

-Clear off the table (everyone clears off their own dishes; he does the rest)
-Wipe down the table
-Sweep beneath the table
-Help E & I tidy up the living room, if there's time left over

Here's the thing: Isaac rarely finishes his chores in time for the timer. Maybe once a week. I know he can do it; he has done it before in about half that time. I also know he earnestly wants that treat. But he just gets so utterly distracted from the task at hand, several times during the task, that it's as if he can't help himself.

A few mornings ago it was chore time, we were about 10 minutes in, and I found him in the bathroom, playing with a toilet paper roll. There was a pitcher of orange juice on the back of the toilet. (From the table: we don't normally keep orange juice in the bathroom.) The best I can figure it is that he couldn't find a spot on the counter for the pitcher and wandered around to try to find me to ask me where he should put it and.... this is the part I don't get... got sidetracked by seeing an empty toilet paper roll in the bathroom, set the pitcher down, and began to play with the toilet paper roll. And then kept playing until I found him there some minutes later, wondering why on earth he was there, with the pitcher, in the bathroom of all places, when the timer was steadily ticking away.

I get really exasperated with this kind of thing. I try not to, but I often fail. I sighed, told him to get back to work, probably mentioned something about not understanding him or told him that a treat was likely out of the question, and then stewed about it as I washed up some dishes, wondering what I could possibly do to get this boy to begin a job and then work hard until the job is complete.

About this time, Adelia went in and started pestering him and he was a little tearful, trying to finish and getting bothered by his little sister. I asked her to go into the other room and let him finish up. The timer went off, and once again, Isaac was not done.

By the time he finished, I was in the living room folding laundry and still feeling crabby at this boy who takes so long to do his chores and gets so easily distracted. Isaias and Audra had already started their buddy time and Adelia was waiting for him. Then God, in His grace, allowed me to be present and watching while the following happened:

Isaac walked into the room and walked over to Adelia who was running through the room headed in the other direction. He stopped, looked down into her eyes, and kindly said: "I get to be *your* buddy today?" She said yes, and he took her hand and led her out of the room. I heard him talking to her as they walked down the stairs, asking her what she'd like to do. Then he suggested something they had done together before that she had liked, and said, "Oh! Did you want to..." She agreed, and off they went.

It was a gift from God, witnessing that moment. It was like He reminded me who my Isaac was. I sat there on the couch, laundry all around me, and cried for the sweetness and kindness of my boy. Adelia had just been in the kitchen, minutes before, bothering him. He could have been crabby at her and not felt at all like being her buddy. He could have cried and been disappointed that he didn't make it in time for the timer or that he didn't get a treat... again. But he didn't. He lovingly turned to his little sister and smiled at her and delighted in her and went off to play with her.

I was so thankful that God took the time to show me Isaac's character. Of course I knew it already: I know my boy. I know who he is: sweet, loving and kind. But in my irritability about his chore I had forgotten it. I saw only his immaturity. Somehow I knew, then, too, that it would all be okay. He is only seven. He's a child; he will get distracted. He will forget what he's doing and move on to something else. Also: he will grow in maturity in this area of working hard and attending to the task at hand. I am thankful to see, though, that he is attending to the more important things in life.