The goodbye, Part 2

[For Part 1 of The goodbye (to our foster baby), click HERE.]

Now, for Part 2...


I got off the phone and just stood there. Our foster baby was in my arms; in the sling. Someone asked me who had called, and was it about Baby? And I replied, "Yes, they found a new home for her... " Then I burst into tears and left the room, carrying our foster baby with me. We sat in the rocking chair as I cried and prayed.

It was all so sudden. I thought I was going to have two more days, now I had less than 24 hours, and for most of that she'd be sleeping. And now, with people streaming in and out of our home, I had to process all of this news. Honestly, I wanted everyone to leave so that I could just grieve, but I didn't have that luxury. After awhile I stopped crying and went back into the living room to rejoin the company. Thankfully, no one asked me any more about the phone call.

A few hours later the visitors had cleared out, I hopped online to write this post, and I began to pack up her things. She had so little, really.

I thought then of all the things she loved that she couldn't take with her. The bouncy seat, the sling, us.

One of the things I had prayed faithfully for since she'd been with us was that she wouldn't have to go to another foster home. I didn't want her, in the span of the two months of her life, going from her mom, to the hospital (she was admitted there with RSV) and all of the nurses who cared for her there for those weeks, then to our home, then to another home, and who knows how many others before returning to her birthmom. I didn't want that for her. But now it had come to that, and I could do nothing about it.

I wished, that day, that we had the resources to help this family. They needed a home, our foster baby's father surely needed a job. I remembered how my grandpa, so often over the years, had welcomed in people like this who were in need. He'd give them a job at his place of business, he'd welcome them into his home (they had a full basement they used for these types of situations), and he would help them get back on their feet.

I wished we could do something like that for this family. Can you imagine? Here. We found you a job. We found you a place to stay, and we won't charge you rent until you get back onto your feet. We want to help, we want you to succeed at this business of being parents to these little girls. Because we love Jesus and because HE loves you. Can you imagine the lifeline that would be for this family? But we had none of that to offer. (Though, maybe someday. I'm certainly adding it to my list of huge prayer requests.)

Later that night, before the kids went to bed, we all gathered around this precious baby and prayed over her. Every one of us said a prayer. I remember Isaac's prayer was something like, "Dear Jesus, I pray that you would bring Baby back to our house again to stay, and then if she has to go again that she would be able to come back again someday."

They were sad to see her go, but more concerned at mama's tears throughout that entire day. They kept coming over to me and saying, "Are you sad that Baby's leaving?" My response: "Yes, honey. Mama's very sad. I'll miss her so much. I love her very much."

At bedtime I fed her a bottle, rocked her and sang her her nighttime songs, and then I tearfully put her in her crib, hoping she'd be up often throughout the night so that I could spend extra time cuddling her.

She slept through the night, until 6:00. :(

[To be continued...]