The goodbye, Part 3

For The goodbye, Part 1, click HERE.
For The goodbye, Part 2, click HERE.


Are you guys getting bogged down with all of these foster care posts? Sorry. Bear with me. I want to get this all down somewhere and I happen to be a much faster typer than I am a writer (if I were detailing this all in my journal. Plus, then I wouldn't get the photos, too...)

Now, for Part 3...

We had been up with Addie throughout the night and several times I wanted to go in and wake our foster baby, but I didn't. So at 6:00, when I heard her waking, I turned to Mark and said, "It's 6:00. In less than three hours she'll be gone." And I cried some more.

I fed her her morning bottle, the last one I'd give her, and she fell promptly asleep again in my arms. I left her in bed with Mark and went to gather her things.


I'd packed most of it the previous night, but there were her blankets in her crib, the soft dolly of Ella's she'd been sleeping with that Ella wanted to send along with her, her bottle. I tucked a note into her file that I'd written the night before, to her next foster mom, including her eating/sleeping schedule, the things she liked (like her bouncy seat) and the the things she disliked (like her pacifier). I also wrote a note to her birthmom and taped it to her bottle. I knew they'd give her a bottle at their morning visit and I wanted to somehow tell her that I wasn't caring for her baby anymore. Just two days before she'd pulled me aside after a visit and said, "We want you to know that we think you're doing a great job caring for Baby. Thank you." It seemed strange for her to find out from the social worker, but not hear it from me, so I taped the note to Baby's bottle. It read:

Dear -----,

We said goodbye to sweet Baby this morning.
We have loved this little girl of yours, and are sad to see her go. (On Monday night we were able to go pick up our little girl, who we're adopting.)
We have been praying for you, ----- (foster baby's father), and the girls, and hope you will all be together again soon.
I'll miss your sweet baby girl. She is so dear to us.
God bless each of you,

~Stacy

My mom had come over to say goodbye, and she cried with me, on and off throughout the morning. Mark took pictures. I held Baby. And then all of a sudden the social worker was at the door, as she'd been dozens of times over the last several weeks, and I tucked Baby into her infant seat, kissed her cheek, the kids said goodbye, and handed her off.


I watched them walk out to the car. Mark and Ella had gone with to carry her things. And then I turned, looked at my mom, and burst into tears. My heart was so heavy. I was going to miss this little girl SO much.