The goodbye, Part 3

For The goodbye, Part 1, click HERE.
For The goodbye, Part 2, click HERE.

Are you guys getting bogged down with all of these foster care posts? Sorry. Bear with me. I want to get this all down somewhere and I happen to be a much faster typer than I am a writer (if I were detailing this all in my journal. Plus, then I wouldn't get the photos, too...)

Now, for Part 3...

We had been up with Addie throughout the night and several times I wanted to go in and wake our foster baby, but I didn't. So at 6:00, when I heard her waking, I turned to Mark and said, "It's 6:00. In less than three hours she'll be gone." And I cried some more.

I fed her her morning bottle, the last one I'd give her, and she fell promptly asleep again in my arms. I left her in bed with Mark and went to gather her things.

I'd packed most of it the previous night, but there were her blankets in her crib, the soft dolly of Ella's she'd been sleeping with that Ella wanted to send along with her, her bottle. I tucked a note into her file that I'd written the night before, to her next foster mom, including her eating/sleeping schedule, the things she liked (like her bouncy seat) and the the things she disliked (like her pacifier). I also wrote a note to her birthmom and taped it to her bottle. I knew they'd give her a bottle at their morning visit and I wanted to somehow tell her that I wasn't caring for her baby anymore. Just two days before she'd pulled me aside after a visit and said, "We want you to know that we think you're doing a great job caring for Baby. Thank you." It seemed strange for her to find out from the social worker, but not hear it from me, so I taped the note to Baby's bottle. It read:
Dear -----,

We said goodbye to sweet Baby this morning.
We have loved this little girl of yours, and are sad to see her go. (On Monday night we were able to go pick up our little girl, who we're adopting.)
We have been praying for you, ----- (foster baby's father), and the girls, and hope you will all be together again soon.
I'll miss your sweet baby girl. She is so dear to us.
God bless each of you,


My mom had come over to say goodbye, and she cried with me, on and off throughout the morning. Mark took pictures. I held Baby. And then all of a sudden the social worker was at the door, as she'd been dozens of times over the last several weeks, and I tucked Baby into her infant seat, kissed her cheek, the kids said goodbye, and handed her off.

I watched them walk out to the car. Mark and Ella had gone with to carry her things. And then I turned, looked at my mom, and burst into tears. My heart was so heavy. I was going to miss this little girl SO much.


  1. Oh Stacy - {{{hugs}}}. And no - we are not getting "bogged down" with these posts. I am so thankful to you for taking the time to share your heart.

    I can see the anguish on your face in the pictures. How are you feeling now?

  2. Hi Stacy :) It's such a beautiful story - all of it. I am so sorry for the feelings of loss you are dealing with right now. As always, I am praying.

    Also, I am hoping with you. Trusting the Father for the rest of her story and for yours. And knowing me a little, will you forgive me if I say how excited I am at what the Father has planned in this? Though we really don't know what that is...
    Love you so! Q

  3. ~tears of my own~

    And I assure you, I'm so not getting bogged down by the posts. In fact, I hope you'll continue to share as God ministers to your heart.

  4. ((((Stacy))))
    Thank you for sharing your heart with us. No matter how short the time, you can be assured you have impacted this little ones life.

    God bless you, Mark and your children as you continue on the journey He has set before you.

  5. I am NOT getting "bogged down" with these posts. I appreciate you sharing and I love reading about it.

  6. ((Stacy))
    I want you to know what a blessing your testimony has been to my heart, and I'm sure many others as well. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly and candidly.

    God is using you mightily!

    Love you!!

  7. Stacy--I'm verklempt (spell???) every time I read another post about Baby. I'm praying for all of you and your hearts. Jesus called you to do this. Please keep us updated. I do not in ANYWAY feel bogged down. Loving you...April

  8. Praying constantly for you my friend.
    Love you tons and tons.

  9. Stacy, I don't even know you except by reading your blog, but I am crying with you...

  10. Stacy, I just found you via your comment on my blog and I just wanted to let you know how much I am enjoying your blog - what an inspiring woman you are! I am praying for you and your family as you go through this enormous transition! (I'll be up throughout the night along with you, I'm sure!)

  11. Stacy,
    I haven't been on the computer much lately, so I just finished reading about your good-bye. I was thinking about how right it is for you to feel this way. You were willing for God to use you and open your heart up and show this sweet little girl God's love without hesitation. A little girl that you knew nothing about just a few short weeks ago, and then you began to love her like your own! How wrong it would be for you to not have these feelings of sadness and loss, and how great God is to give you Addie at just the right time. I find it all amazing and I am praising God right there with you for all of it...the happy and the sad!

  12. Hello.

    I found my way over here through the blogosphere (can't remember whose blog you left a comment on . . . maybe Kendra's?).

    Anyway, I haven't had an opportunity to read all of your entries regarding saying goodbye to Baby yet (it's late, so I hope to within the next few days) BUT just wanted to say I can relate to what I've read thus far.

    My husband & I were foster parents primary doing emergency care for infants (we adopted 3 of our kids from the system, 2 as babies and 1 at 6 years old).

    I loved fostering (life long dream) and often wonder if we'll ever get to do it again. Probably not.

    Though there is pain, like saying goodbye to your sweet Baby, I still long to do it again.

    May God richly bless you and your family for caring for the precious little ones He places in your home. Also may He bless you for caring for the birth parents. That is so important.

    Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to reading through it.

    Mary Beth


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