Oh, my heart

Thank you for your sweet words of joy for our family. I have much to tell you, and pictures to show, too. We are thankful to God for our sweet Addie. My heart is so full.


My heart is also sorrowful today.

This little one will be leaving our home tomorrow morning. A day early.

~sob~

She will be going to another foster home, as her birthmother has no home yet to bring her home to. They need a longer-term placement for this precious baby girl. Another 30 days, maybe 60.

Tonight, I will fold up her tiny outfits- the ones Ella and I shopped for together. I will tuck them into a bag. I will pack up her diapers, her formula, her bottles, her little flowered socks. When bedtime comes, I will put her jammies on and feed her a bottle and rock her and sing to her. I will pray over her. (And tonight I hope she'll wake up for many of middle-of-the-night feedings so that I will have lots of time to cuddle with her.)

I will write a letter to the next foster mom, all about this little girl we love so much. And I hope she will read it carefully. And I pray that she will love this girl as much as we have.

And tomorrow morning, I will wake her up, change her diaper one last time, choose her clothes one last time, pray over her one last time, and then, a little before nine, a social worker will come for her.

And she will leave our home.

Certainly not our hearts.

Oh, I will *miss* this little girl. I love her so!


My heart is really aching, friends. Please do pray. I don't want to say goodbye.

28 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Stacy...
    You have been SO VERY FAITHFUL in what God called you to do...love this little one as your own. I know your heart is breaking over this, and I will be praying. By the time you wake up in the morning, I will have already been praying!

    So bittersweet, though! I am so thankful that Addie is home...and I will be waiting (not so patiently) for the FLOOD of pictures that better be following!!!!!

    Love you so much!
    Michelle

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  3. Oh Stacy, I can't even imagine the heartache. We have been praying and will continue to pray even more tonight and tomorrow and these next few days as you go through this.

    I don't even know what else to say, except that we are praying, and He is faithful.

    And our hearts are full of joy about sweet Addie being home.

    Much, much love...

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  4. Praying for you tonight, Stacy.

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  5. You must feel so torn. Praying for you, and Baby Girl, as you say goodbye tomorrow. And I too can't wait to see and hear about Addie!

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  6. Oh, Stacy... you have my prayers...

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  7. Praying for you Stacy!
    I am so excited that Addie is now home with her Momma, but I feel your pain of having to say goodbye to your little foster sweetie. God will watch over her and delight over her. Never forget His words to you =)
    Love and prayers.
    Sara

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  8. Michele@PhiloxenosMarch 18, 2008 at 8:05 PM

    I, too, can't imagine your heartache. But as others have said, you have been faithful to what God has asked of you. My prayers are with you tonight and tomorrow and the days to follow.

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  9. Stacy, my heart is aching with you dear. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you and you family. Such a bitter sweet moment in you life right now...parting with one you love and welcoming a new one at the same time. I have prayed and will continue to lift you up. I'm so thankful for your faithful example of being obedient to what the Lord has called you, even when it hurts. You've touched me beyond measure...thank you.

    Blessings & Prayers
    Trina

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  10. Hi Stacy :) I am so excited to hear all of the news about Addie's homecoming! Looking forward to all the stories of your days...

    For this night and tomorrow morning... courage! and eyes that see all of the possibilities in the Father's love and in His plans... and a heart and mind that remember that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see...

    I love you so and am praying, Q

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  11. Praying my friend. What a hard thing to do :o(

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  12. Stacy,this post has brought so many memories to me. I remember my mom changing the babies we cared for and dressing them for the last time. This was often done with prayers and tears. It was so hard - but the prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Remember this today, dear. This morning as you say goodbye, remember that you will always hold this sweetheart in your heart and in your prayers.

    We have an album to help us remember our foster children, and my mom has a special day of the week that she prays for them.

    Praying that God will soothe your ache, Stacy. Rejoicing with you as you kiss the soft cheeks of little Addie.

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  13. Praying for you as your little foster blessing continues her journey. And praying that her birthmomma will get her life together so she can go home.

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  14. Praying for you and that sweet little girl.

    Stacy

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  15. {{{HUGS}}}

    I can only imagine the heartache. And yet, what a blessing she has in YOU and Mark.
    Tim and I will be praying for you today...

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  16. Hello, Stacy. This is Bev's mom. I've never commented here before, but felt constrained to do so today. I went through this several times, so I just want to tell you I know EXACTLY what is in your heart today and I'll be praying. You will see, though, what a precious privilege which will be yours to pray for this darling little girl for the rest of her/your life. She won't remember you or who you are, but you will always be able to pray for her. What a blessed privilege! Even if she goes on in life never knowing what you've done for her and your love for her, God does. There is so much more that I could say, but I don't want to take up too much time. This brings back such sweet (and bitter) moments for me, and it's interesting that she's leaving your home on Wednesday, the day I pray specially for all my foster children by name. They left us as infants and are now in their teen years, but I can still pray. And so will you in the days to come. May the Lord bring comfort to your aching heart. I know He will.

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  17. Praying for you both, right now, at just before 9. I hope you will feel a peace.

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  18. Definitely praying! I can't even imagine...

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  19. Praying... and trusting God to soothe your aching hearts.
    Love, Camee

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  20. Stacy;

    Praying for strength for you-remember when we are weak, then He is strong. May you know His comfort.

    Kimmie
    mama to 6
    one homemade and 5 adopted

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  21. Praying for you today as you're missing that sweet baby. Because of your family and the love that she's known this month, this little girl will grow up with at least one family praying for her. Your love will continue to affect her for the rest of her life through those prayers.
    Entrust that sweet girl into our Father's good hands. He loves her even more than you do!

    blessings

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  22. I know you know this, my friend, but try to rest in the fact that Father God is all about keeping his arms around that little girl.
    Bless your sweet family for being willing to be those tangible arms.

    xoxoxo

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  23. Oh Stacy, my heart is aching for you. I see you posted this last night, meaning she must already be gone. I have already prayed, and will continue to.

    Reading about your foster experience has only put fuel to my own wondering about whether God would have us be foster parents, and what you're going through right now is the thing that scares me most of all. But of course, I know it would still be so worth it. As God continues to comfort and teach you in the days ahead, I hope you'll continue sharing the journey with us. And I really do wish I could hug you. :)

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  24. Stacy, God knows when each sparrow falls-- He will not forget your foster daughter when she leaves your home, nor will you. And because of yoe, we have all been led to pray for her-- and will continue.
    May you rest in His grace today,
    Annie

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  25. I can only imagine how hard this must be. Praying for you!

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  26. Oh Stacey, my heart aches for you. I'm sure watching your little foster daughter leave your home was ever so painful.

    We have a 4 month old foster daughter that's been with us since she was 3 weeks old. She's probably going to be returned home to her parents on 2 June, although dates are never set in stone (it could be sooner or later). I'm DREADING that day!

    It's not that I feel as though she's going home to an unsafe environment. I've watched with pride as her parents have been 100% compliant with their case plan and I know how very much they love their daughter and want her back. I think they have a good shot at making a good life for their little daughter.

    I'm just not looking forward to not having this precious baby girl in our daily lives. I'll miss her sweet smile that she flashes at me when I look at her or talk to her, her delightful belly laugh when I tickle her, her fragrent baby smell, her tiny fingers and toes, her rolly-polly baby belly, her pretty dark eyes and delicate features.

    It makes me cry when I realize that I won't be able to witness her starting to crawl or her first steps. I'll always wonder what she ended up looking like at 1 year old, 3 years old, or 5 years old.

    This fostering is hard. And yet, I'm glad I'm doing it. Being a part of a failure-to-thrive baby growing into a healthy, happy baby is such a great reward!

    I pray your little one is placed in a loving foster home and, if/when she's meant to return to her mother, that she has a happy life.

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