The bug drama

Once upon a time, in elementary or middle school, my class went to a local Chinese restaurant for lunch. The one-and-only thing I remember about that experience is this: at one point during my meal, I glanced down and witnessed a little green inch-worm crawling along one of the tines on my fork. [Tines? Well, the part of the fork you put into your mouth.] I'm sure I mentioned it to at least the person beside me, and then simply slid my plate away and sat out the rest of the meal.

Tonight we were all out running errands when we realized it was past dinnertime and we should probably stop and get something to eat. And then we have this discussion about how it should be something quick, but not fast-food. [For the most part I detest fast food. Just slightly more than I detest Chinese food, after tonight. But we haven't gotten there yet.] We settled on stopping at a nearby grocery store where they have one of those Chinese food places within the store. Quick, ready-to-eat, but not fast food.

We ordered, paid for our meal, and settled down at a nearby table to eat. Mark and I had ordered enough to share with the kids. About halfway through our meal, Isaac was putting a bite of rice up to his mouth and Mark suddenly yelled, "Isaac! Stop!" For Mark to yell anything at all it's a big deal, so we all halted to find out what was going on. Mark said, "I'm pretty sure there's a bug on that rice." Mark took Isaac's fork to take a closer look. He wasn't sure-- it was still embedded in between some sticky white rice [rice that had come from Mark's bowl] so it was hard to tell. Mark sort of shrugged and said, "I can't really tell..." so I took over the dissection. I used the fork to poke off the white rice, which left the black object in the middle of the white napkin. I rolled it over once, only to discover the wing of said bug, and we all concurred, "Yes, this is indeed a bug." A black, beetle-y looking bug with wings. About the size of a fruit fly. Ew. [I shudder]

So we looked at each other, Mark and I, as if to say,"Now what? I asked Mark, "Will you be eating the rest of that?" to which he replied, "Uh, nah.. I've sort of lost my appetite." Say no more. I scooped up the napkin and headed back to the little Chinese eatery. I waited for a moment where there were no more customers, and then I leaned forward and quietly said to the girl behind the counter, "We were about halfway through our meal when we found this bug [at this point I opened the napkin to display the bug] in our food." And then I just waited for a few seconds, expecting her to say this:

"Oh, I am *so* sorry you found that in your food."

followed by maybe this:

"What was it that you ordered? Let me get you a new one."

But instead, I got nothing but a blank stare, a slight shake of the head, and other than that: no communication whatsoever.

So I tried again, a little less bold this time: "I thought you'd like to know...."

And then she leaned forward just the slightest bit to view the bug I still held before me. She then said, "Yeah, well. It could have flown into the food either back here or over there [indicating our table], so...." (she trailed off and then just looked at me again.)

Okay, I wasn't going to argue the point with her, but PROBABLY NOT, since, you know, the bug was embedded into the rice and looked *very* dead, as opposed to the still alive but flopping around because it had just flown into your food variety.

So then I thought to myself, "Wow, maybe I'm being really petty about this. And this isn't an actual restaurant, so maybe they don't really do that kind of thing here...?" So I offered a weak, "Well, maybe you should at least check your pot of rice..." [you know, in case there was a infestation of sorts going on in the pot of rice? I know, it was a totally dumb thing to say but I was a bit befuddled at this point at her complete lack of care about this issue and was very obviously floundering.]

She just shrugged.

So I left, tossing the folded napkin in the garbage can as I walked back to our table. When I got there I muttered, "Well, that went over real well. She sure wasn't overly concerned about it." And I really planned to let it go at that point. But then I sat there looking at Mark's half-eaten entree and our kids who had been eating off of it, and I asked, "Do you think I should go talk to a manager?" Mark wasn't volunteering for that task, but he was fine if I did, so I got up, walked back over to the garbage can where I saw my folded napkin lying on top (I know, that is so gross but I did want proof that there was an actual bug), and walked over to an employee and asked where I could locate the manager.

He kindly pointed me in the right direction, and I set out to find him.

When I found the manager- Mark was his name- I introduced myself and explained the circumstance, again showing the bug [which as I now type this I think is awfully funny. There I am, traisping all over the store with this little hard black bug in a napkin, offering it up for proof. Oh boy.] Anyway. I said something to the effect of, "I really don't know what you do about this kind of thing. I know that if I were at a restaurant they would probably give me another plate, but maybe you don't do that here. I'm not sure. But I don't think my husband will be eating his remaining portion and we did pay for it... and...? Could we just maybe have another entree? Or half of one? Without the bug?" I did tell him that I'd already been to the eatery and they weren't much help. Mark-the-manager examined the bug, said, "I'm sorry you've had this experience. (There! Someone who cares! Or at least knows enough to pretend to care.) And I will talk with that girl. Here's what I'll do: I will go with you to get another entree, but first we're going to stop by this register right over here and refund you that meal." Except for when he got to the register and explained to the lady behind it what she should do, he decided, "Actually, you know what? Let's just go ahead and refund the whole order." At this point I interrupted and said, "That is very nice of you, but I am more than happy to pay for our meal. I just really would like that one entree replaced. I don't need you to refund the entire ticket. Really. That is above and beyond the call of duty." He insisted, and I thanked him profusely, [and thought he should be awarded Manager-of-the-Year] and then he walked me to the eatery. I had to take a detour over to my Mark to find out what he'd ordered, and then sent him to take meet up with the waiting manager and take over from there. I wasn't thrilled about the upcoming awkward encounter with I-Could-Care-Less Girl. So my Mark met Mark-the-manager in front of the Chinese place where the manager was speaking quietly to the girl.

Mark-the-manager told my Mark to order anything he wanted, but my Mark, having already eaten half a meal, only ordered one of the two things he'd previously ordered, whereupon the manager instructed the girl, "Make that a double portion, then." (I know, don't we just love Manager-Mark?) When I asked Mark later what the girl was doing, he said, "Rolling her eyes." Me: "What? Are you serious? Right in front of the manager?" And he said, "Well, practically. She might as well have been. She was visibly perturbed."

Mark thanked the manager, brought his meal to the table and resumed eating while I filled him in on my conversation with the manager and what he'd done (in refunding us the $22). And I kept peering over at the Chinese place to see if the girl might be glaring at our table. I didn't see her. So then I had to analyze the whole ordeal. Out loud. I just couldn't get over the fact that she was so perturbed that there was a bug in our food. I mean, what did she think? That we'd brought the bug from home and placed it into their napkin so that we could try to get ourselves a free meal? I kept asking Mark, "It's not unreasonable for me to expect our food to be bug-free, is it? I mean, we paid for the dinner. I like to think I'm paying for food-without-bugs. I don't think I was being unreasonable. So then why was that girl so upset? It really did bother me that she was so upset. And I didn't want to get her in trouble, either. I did ask Mark before we left. "Do you think I should go try to talk with her? Make sure things are okay between us?" He didn't quite think that was necessary, so we finished up and left.

And that's the end of the bug drama. But no more Chinese food for me. [Thank goodness it wasn't Thai food.]

Mark is making fun of me because this is the longest post ever. "You're still writing that same post?" And truthfully, I'm sure none of you care about the bug that was in Mark's food tonight or the ordeal that followed. And I don't even have a spiritual application for you. My mind just doesn't usually find a parallel like that.

I'm going to go watch a video with Mark now. But I do want to know one thing: What would *you* do if you found a bug in your food? (Great. Mark just said, "What would Jesus do if He found a bug in His food?) So you may answer either question. Or neither. Because you probably haven't lasted this long in the post anyway.

Night.