He hears and He answers

There is a framed letter that hangs on the wall in our kids' room.  Mark wrote it one summer, years ago.  It was written during a period of time when we were trying to conceive.  Those years were filled with month after long month of disappointment, intermingled with hope and prayers.  And then grief and tears and such heartache. 

It was during that season that Mark wrote this letter.  It's a long letter-- two pages worth-- so I won't type the whole of it here, but here are a few excerpts: 

I miss you, our child.  We have both hoped and dreamed for you for so long.

I want to hold you in my arms.  To touch your little hands and have you wrap them around my fingers.  To tickle your toes.  To kiss your forehead.  I hope I am never stingy with affection towards you.  I want to always kiss you, hug you, tousle your hair and wrassle with you. 

Our dear, beloved child, do you know that you are loved even before you exist?  We love you because we have always wanted you and because we want to have the privilege of watching you grow up.  If we have this place in our hearts for you already, I can only imagine how much more  we will love you as you develop and grow.  

I will be so proud to be your daddy.  I will always protect you; you can rest assured of that .  I will try to teach you everything that I have learned in this life.  With my words and with a little discipline, I will try to help you avoid the sins of your father, and I will forgive you and comfort you when you struggle and stumble. I will always love you.  

I long to watch you grow up.  Who will you be?  What will you look like?  Will you be dark and beautiful like your mommy?  Will your eyes be brown like hers or blue like mine?  What will be your favorite game?  Will you like sweets like daddy or salty snacks like mommy ? What will your little voice sound like and what will it sound like when you're mad or upset?  Will you be reserved or outgoing?  Will you join in when daddy dances silly?  Will you enjoy helping mommy with whatever household tasks she has each day?  How old will you be when you start praying before our family meals?  Will you like to curl up on my lap for a Bible story after a bath and getting into pajamas?...

I would ask who you will be when you grow up: what job you will have, who you will marry, what the world will be like then, but I don't want to think about that right now, because that means that you will leave us, emptying this house that is too empty right now.  


Next week our Ella will turn six years old.   Six.  This morning I remembered this letter Mark wrote so many summers ago, and I sit here marveling at God's incredible graciousness to us.  

He hears and He answers.  Don't ever doubt it.  

I know there are some of you who are also struggling with infertility.  Or maybe there is a prayer you have offered up to Him over and over and over and over again, and He seems silent.  He hears and He answers.

I know this to be true, although even I need to be reminded of it.  All those questions Mark asked in that letter, those who will you be questions?  We know the answers.  God has given us six years with this precious girl.  Not to mention four years with our Isaac and nearly two with our Isaias.  I am positively overwhelmed with gratitude.  He heard and He answered.  He is so good.  

The Lord is faithful to all His promises
and loving toward all he has made. 
The Lord upholds all those who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down. 
The eyes of all look to you, 
and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing. 

The Lord is righteous in all his ways
and loving toward all he has made. 
The Lord is near to all who call upon him, 
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; 
he hears their cry and saves them. 
The Lord watches over all who love him.
Psalm 145:13-20


  1. Stacy,
    Wow .... I too am overwhelmed with gratitude. I cannot read that letter without getting all choked up, not because I am a writer of any merit, but because I am filled with gratitude and awe at the way that He has turned our mourning into dancing. He is faithful and good indeed!

    Thanks for this reminder as we again wait and pray for God to add to our family. I trust and rest in the knowledge that He will give to us at His proper time.

    Loving you, Mark

  2. Thanks for sharing this beautiful testimony to God's faithfulness to you! You, along with many other dear ones, are often in my prayers as you wait and pray for God to increase your families. His ways are beyond us. Bless you and your dear family!

  3. I love this letter so much. For many reasons. But for me the biggest one is that I hear faith in his words. I too am so, so thankful for Ella.
    And Mark, you are such a good writer. Have I ever told you that?
    I love seeing what God has for your family and I will enjoy watching what he has yet to reveal to you!
    Love you guys,

  4. What a man you have...sensitive and full of love.

    I know he hears, but as you say, those of us with infertility sometimes feel like he doesn't.

    I love that Psalm, thank you for sharing Stacy.

    Happy birthday Ella...6 is a wonderful age.

    mama to 6
    one homemade and 5 adopted

  5. My. heart. hurts.

    Oh Stacy, I have been overwhelmed with the grief of an empty womb this week. Everyone around me seems to be getting pregnant. My 3 best friends and my sister-in-law. I have wept all day. And then several things I have read today have blessed me immensely. Thank you for writing this. Mark's comment above sounds exactly like what Tim said to me on the phone today when I called him blubbering.

    Oh sister, please pray for me and I will for you.

    Email me, ok? I'd like to talk.

  6. What a beautiful letter...and blog.

  7. Oh Stacy,
    My heart swells at the overwhelming love your husband has for you...and I cannot be blind to the faith that the Lord has grown in you through this painful trial...It so encourages this heart of mine...Praise the LORD!

  8. "Food at the proper time...."
    Not our time, but His. We so often fall into the "fast food" mentality, don't we?? We want to pray (ie. place our order) and then expect it to be ready by the time we get up to the window....

    This was an awesome post...Mark, you should do some "guest blogging"....if Stacy won't let you do a regular column on her blog, I WOULD HAPPILY give you a space weekly! (as I clearly have had some open space on my blog lately!!)

    You both write so beautifully....but, more than that, I love your hearts for the Lord!!

  9. ((Stacy))
    ~Just beautiful~ is all I can come up with as I cry....Tears of joy for the blessings that God gives in His time. I am all too familiar with the same waiting that you have grown in. God *is* so faithful to hear our prayers and to answer in the proper time. You are inspiring. Your dear husband's words are just beautiful. Blessings to you, Tami

  10. Hi Stacy :) What a precious heart! Those three precious sweeties have such a daddy and mommy. I thank you again for the faithfulness and love for the Father that sparkles and shines through you here.

    What a rich encouragement M's letter is. Love you so! Q

  11. Thanks for sharing this. I am so encouraged to hear about God's faithfulness to you. The scripture you posted has been a help to me through many times in my life :o)
    Go God!

  12. ((Stacy))

    I'm in tears. Thank you, dear sister, so much, for sharing that precious letter and your words of encouragement. I can't tell you how encouraging it is to know that others have fought through this valley of loneliness and deferred hopes and have come through victoriously, and with God's blessings. I am so thankful for you, for your sweet family, for your testimony. Psalm 145 has been a great blessing to me as well.

    Thank you, friend.
    Sending much love your way... and prayers heavenward on your behalf, that you might even know His multiplied blessing of more children.

  13. Beautiful and I love the comment Mark wrote here...what an amazing man of God.

  14. I am speechless because your post was so full of love. Love and thankfulness to our great, sovereign God. What an encouragement you are being to our dear sisters who are struggling right now. You definitely have the gift of encouragement. And your husband is such a blessing too.

  15. Dear Stacy,
    It was a blessing to my heart to find your blog and read your post. Thank you for sharing it with others. My husband and I lost our first baby three months ago to miscarriage. It is always an encouragement to me to hear testimonies of how God has blessed others who've been through these trials and much more. We serve a God with whom nothing is impossible.
    Charissa (Beka's sister)

  16. Oh, goodness. That is so beautiful.

    HE is so good, and I know that He is continuing to work in your family.

  17. Mark,
    You've made quite the impression here, honey. ~smile~ I'm so glad. You are as wonderful as they come. And I love you. And I love living life with you by my side.

    Thank you, sweet friend, for your kind words. And for your prayers, too.

    Yes. There *was* faith there, huh? Sure didn't feel like it some days! [As you well know.]
    I agree, Amy, that Mark is such a good writer.
    Love you, too.

    Aww... I know. My Mark-- he's the best!
    I continue to pray for you, Kimmie. You know that? I love you, friend.

    And thank you for the birthday wishes for Ella. :)

    Oh, sweet you. I know. (((HUGS))) to you. And I've added you to my list of those I pray for...

    Thank you!

    Thank you, sweet encouraging Carrie.

    Yep. Preach it, sister. You should write a whole post on that blog of yours about it!
    Mark and I got a BIG chuckle out of your "guest blog at my blog" comment. I'm telling you, if Mark were to post on your blog, it'd be all Steelers. No Colts. I don't think your man would handle that well.

    Oh, sweet friend- yes. God is so faithful, isn't He?
    Thank you for your kind words.

    Wow. I just have the best readers. I am serious. Thank you, again.

    Mrs. M,
    ~Smile~ I love that passage, too. I am so thankful for God's word.

    Yes. It's how I can really and truly hope and *believe* for you that God will answer. He will, Beka. And I thank you for your prayers. And continue to pray, with anticipation, for YOU!
    Love you!

    Thank you! (And, I know.. he's so good, that man of mine! I am very thankful!)

    Thank you, sweet you! :)

    Thank you for coming by!
    I will pray for you, dear Beka's sister. I'm so glad you were encouraged by this post.

    Thank you!

    Really. You all are so sweet and kind and I love you MUCH!


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