*2006 post*
Why is it that disobedience seems to come in waves? We can be moving along for months and have very few issues and then suddenly within days, each child is keeping mommy very busy in the area of instruction and discipline. Here's one of our recent (and frequent, for the time being) scenarios:
As we were crossing the street yesterday, I asked my four-year old daughter to hold her little brother’s hand. She offered him her elbow instead. I asked again, “Please take his hand.” She refused. So I dropped her hand, took his hand, and we all crossed the street.
My daughter did not like the fact that I had dropped her hand. I didn’t like the fact that she had disobeyed. She began to stomp her feet and cry. I told her, very calmly but firmly, that when we got inside the house I wanted her to have a time-out (which in our house means wait for further punishment). Then she really began her fit. She started screaming no, continued to stomp her feet, and was getting louder. I told her then that her fit would result in discipline.
We got inside the house, and I again told her to go to the front room for a time-out. She headed to the kitchen, carrying on instead. I walked toward the rod and then she suddenly scurried into the front room. When she got there, I shut the door and went to take care of the boys. She continued her fit, and added to her screaming and crying and yelling ‘No’, banging on the closed door. I got the boys settled reading books, and asked her to please be quiet; that she wasn’t coming out and I wasn’t coming in until she had quieted down. Then I took my morning shower. (It was 7:30; we’d just dropped Mark off at work). After my shower I grabbed the rod and my Bible and headed into the (now quiet) room.
I opened my Bible and read this, from Proverbs:
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. (29:11)
We talked about how the Bible is God’s word and that everything in it is true and good and that it tells us how to live. We discussed what a fool is, what the word “vent” means, and how important it is to obey what we read in the Bible. Then I told her that her behavior was foolish, and that God wanted her to be wise and to keep herself under control. We talked about her actions that showed a lack of self control. Her lower lip was trembling; she said she was sorry.
Then I read Proverbs 22:15. Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. She was disciplined and then we prayed together. She said she was sorry and asked God to clean her heart. I asked that God would help her to obey His word; that she would not be foolish but that she would be wise and keep herself under control. We hugged and I asked her if she was ready to join me and the boys; did she have a happy heart? She smiled and said yes. We headed to breakfast.
And ever since we’ve been working on our new memory verse:
Proverbs 29:11
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
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Jun. 7, 2006 - Untitled Comment
ReplyDeletePosted by Rebeca
We go through these phases too. It's a blessing and an encouragement to read how you interact with your daughter and seek to instill the Scripture into her heart.
Bless you, over and abundantly,
Rebeca
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Jun. 7, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by CommunicationFUNdamentals
My children did the same things when they were that age. My son still has trouble controling hmiself. He is only 6. My dd is 16. We had many a discussion about what the Lord expects of us. My son loves the Lord. Though he has trouble controlling himself at times, he does respond to this.
JoJo
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Jun. 7, 2006 - Bravo!!!
Posted by Michelle
You seriously need to write that book, girl!! You do such an awesome job of instilling God's word into your kids, even in the toughest of situations!!! I certainly do notice that disoedience/disrespect/etc come in waves in my kids.
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Jun. 7, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Joni
It seems like every once in a while, my children just need the reminder that I am still the "boss" and that they aren't. They like to see if the boundries are still in place. I tend to believe that is a way that they seek security. If I step over the line will mommy still be the same, react in the same way? There is security and trust in a consistent, loving, Godly reaction. You seemed to do all of the above with this situation.
Warmly,
Joni
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Jun. 8, 2006 - Our kids are in good hands
Posted by Mark
My dearest Stacy, you do such a wonderful job raising our kids to know, fear and love God, even at their young ages. I am so grateful that they're with you all day.
Love you!
Mark